My head hurts

18.11.09
There are so many thoughts swirling through my head right now.Studies; Family,the fact that i dont want to go to school,the fact that i want someone to shoot me.I dont understand one word our bio teacher says, or anyother teachers.
Im amazed at how people are all togather and im in Ry's word"all over the place".
I cant seem to concentrate on my studies.
I need to stop taking so many breaks.
I need to get my head in those freaking books who keep staring at me with thier evil eyes.
I dont know how i have so many things on my mind i keep philosophsizing so much, really i keep thinking of god knows what and time just passes by.
I really need to relax, take deep breaths, and make a plan.Make a timetable.DO SOMETHING.
I wish everything wasnt so complicated.
I wish i didnt feel like such an alien on this planet.In this universe actually.
Put on a smile and walk out of this house, i easily decieve so many but can i decive me?If so how long before it catches up to me.
Practicals are coming up and i dont even know half the things there.
Is there an off switch for your brain.please say yes.
Dear God:i believe in you and try to be optimistic and try to look for the silver lining but so far all i see are dark clouds and it dosent even bloody rain. I know i am an ungrateful freak but HELP

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