Is it me???

Two blogs in one day..record for me so far.
But Ive decided its about time i got this of my chest.
Saturday i went out with two of my friends; neemal and shabano.
That was supposed to be a girls night out or so i thought.What they were actually looking for was a chance to hook up with their guy friends.
And later they have audacity to cut ME out of their lives.
Is it me, or does the fact respect your friends wishes, respect their space no longer exist in the 21st century.
Unbelievable isn't it. How some people can be so cold and downright assholes to stamp all over their friends and thier feelings for personal gain.
At the moment im appalled and disgusted by my friends behaviour.
I would prefer to be friendless and alone then have such friends.
i honestly cannot wait to get to pakistan.
At least people there can pull of fake nice.

dreary summer days

I think the creavite part of my brain has come a complete shutdown.
I havent been able to blog since my exams got over.its annoying.
For all you out there who think im wierd heres another one for you.Ive recently developed this new habit of laying down on my bed, and staring up at the glow in the dark stars ive stck on the cieling listening to mellow songs mainly;
Savage gardens-truly madly deeply
Yeng constantino-if we fall in love.
I'll be right here waiting for fou.
hero-enrique eglasis
invisble-taylor swift.
you found me & how to save a life-the fray
And moctly chasing cars
Tear drops on my guitar-taylor swift
And your not sorry- taylor swift.
No promises-shayne ward

Its not really an emo trait, au contariar if you ever try it, you'll be amazed at how soothing, caliming relaxing listening to these songs can be.
Im leaving for pakistan on the 4th of july...
Hope it rains there.
Or the goverment finally realizes there are a large no of sources of electricity.
And they do not need to punish the people of pakistan just because....

little moments

Well the reason i havent updated my blog in so long, is merely the fact that i seen to have run out of ideas.Im making up to you using this blog.
Little moments, the words say it all dont they;
How many times have you heard the saying its the little moments in life that makeit worth living.
If you really think about it, and i mean really, if you just shut of that voice in your head and think about it, it is true.
But isnt it also true its the big moments in live thaat make it worth living.
worth living whaht does that even mean.
Does it mean you wake up in the morning and dont have to think, oh god why me.
Does it mean you go through an entire day not thinking god i hate my life.
Does it mean you sit with that content smirk on your face,all your sorrows forgotten.
Doesnt it mean taht one day instead of complaining about what you dont have your actually thankful to god for all the blessing He has bestowed upon you.
If you use this definion of worth living and combine it all togather; does it not all add upto something. like happiness maybe, maybe you dont feel like an oputsider in this universe.
Dont worry about the fact that no one has even botherd to call you, in the time that has passed since the end of school.
Your so called friends havent even called you.
Dont get me wrong this is not a call for help.

Schools over

Its been one day and i duuno how many hours since schools been out.
But i just cannot get it into my head that i will never have to walk down those halls towards 11g5, and secretly think holy shit where the hell a i.
Never look at certian faces and overcome with this urge to punch someone.
Never sit all through zero period and chat with my friends.
I dont know how many of my friends i will get to see in the near future.
Dont know if i will get to see any of them at all.
But yesterday as i sat there blair witch project(which btw i have become obsessed with), it came to me;i wont forget my friends; they made what was assured to be hell on earth, or a less drastic expirence;better.
I dont know what i want to do with my life, true, but one thing i know for sure is i dont want to be a "homemaker".
I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's.

No promises by shayne ward

I just love listening to this song over and over again.
And after about 1 hour of trying to find a music player..i give up..
Im just posting the lyrics

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises

I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight.

I just realized the fact that i have an exam tommorrow

I know i should probably be studying right about now but i just cannot tear myself away from watching the video of gives you hell again and again!!!


Why oh why must you taunt me so....
Last night i lay awake till 6 staring up at the ceiling when three things came to my mind.
Uno;I must figure out how to add videos to my blog.
Second;In my last post when i said life sucks;Dont get me wrong im not one of emo people,I should rephrase, What I mean to say was life has its ups and downs, i guess you could even say its the bad moments that make the good ones sweeter.
Its more or less like a chess game, it can go on as long as people want to keep playing it, or till one becomes hopeless and surrenders.
You win some you lose some.
This is how I would describe my 16 years of life.
I mean i would im good academically, im polite and respetful and i have "universal values", I have friends who have on numerous occasions tried to crack my bubble, with no luck nonetheless.
I would say my parents are pretty proud of me.
But something is missing.
Its like that song desperate by david arculeta you want somebody, just anybody to touch your soul tonight.
I havent achived much.
Im not a social worker.
I not all cheerful.
I still dont know half my classmates full names.
Im not all spiritual.
So what have I done with my sixeen years of life?
In decmber im going to be 17.
I hope before that time i can atleast be so confident that i have made a difference in someones life.
Been the reason someone wakes up every morning with a smile on thier face.
Contributed to change.
After all like gandhi said be the change you want to see in others.
So im quitting gossiping.
Im quitting being vindictive and vengeful.
And I might even hug my ex-loathees on the 12th.Might.
Oh before i forget the third thing.
Im in love with this song kiss me by six pence none the richer.I wanna upload it on my blog.

Im thinking

Reading a bitter truths blog and the fact that i could barely understand a word in physics made me think.
Im at the end of my high school.
And what ive learnt in my 16 years is that well the real world sucks.
Were taking steps towards adulthood.
Making choices as to how we want our life to be.
Leaving high school.
It means leaving what is sort of a safe haven for us.
Leaving people who are an integral part of our life.
Ive moved on before when i transferred to tws.
But I guess that since Ive matured considerably in my time here.Made friends, shared experiences with them ,this time its not going to be easy to move on.
The friends ive made here have been there for me through thick and thin, an ever ready shoulder to cry on(not that i did).
Stood by me and helped me along, hard as i tried to push them away.
Like an A.N.G.E.L.
Can you just erase a person who has had an enormous impact on you life like that???
A person who has been your milestone?
Given you that last sherd of hope when you really needed it?
I hope im not that easy to forget either.(coz that would kindo of suck)
so now just a week left till im in high school.
Shouldnt i be happy??
This really sucks.
I mean i cannot get my self to study.
Im still angry.
And im pretty sure my tear glands have stopped functioning.
I just really want to scream.
And I hate physics.
After chem im sure this will suck too.


Why is it that some people think theyre cleopetra or something, that they have a right to stomp theyre fucking feet all over other peoples feelings.
Why is it that people just assume the fact that oter people dont have any feeling just because they dont like to say it.
Why is people are such manupaliting bitches that they think its fine to use other people just because they actually use theyre brains for other purposes than omg hes soo cute.


I absoloutely hate the people who made my chemistry paper.
First of all i already had a headace,i had my periods, i was pretty much gonna kill the next person who spoke to me.How the hell am i supposed to concentrate.
I was actually doing fine till i realized omg i dont have a calculator.
That was when i started hyper ventelating. Perspiring. I dont know how but i managed to ask the teacher for a calculator. And she actually gave one to me.Sh took it from this other girl.
By that time i was all omg i dont like this calculator; What if it gives me a wrong answer.
Then i saw the last past.At that very moment i knew i was doomed.
I could feel the tears begining to prick my eyes.
I had to take 5 min to just calm my self.
Then I saw the Clock.
I dont have the best timeing abilities so i had to ask the teacher to tell me the time.
I was right there were only 20 minutes left and half my paper was blank.(The teacher gave me a very creepy look)
Anyways like ms mariama said let bygones be bygones, Fuck this and concentrate on the next paper.(she did not use fuck)
But im telling you if the next paper has a completely different pattern as well.
Im gonnna.....

Random facts I would rather no one knew about me

1.I had a crush on tarzan.Yes the disney tarzan.I know what you thinking,I my self cannot fathom the reason behind this.
2.I like watching the disney channel, yes even barbie.
3.When i get nervous for some reason my face starts itching.
4.I am afraid of the dark.I sleep with a torch under my pillow.
5.I actually like smelling my hands before an exam for some reason that makes me feel better.
6.i have violent dreams. I say I do not dream but the truth is I dream about terminator salvation esque scene.
7.I did not understand Edward cullen craze till well i duuno somehow i was just in love with him.
8.When i listen to a song i like imagining the video.
9.I like having flour of my face.
10.Recently i have been infatuated with the powerpuff girls.Last night i did not sleep because i kept replaying some creepy powerpuff girls episode in my head.
11.When a cute guy talks to me my brain hurts,probably coz im thinking of something clever to say.Which comes out totally wrong.
12.I thought barbie was the queen of the worlds name.
13.I thought Quaid azam was my grandfather, even though they both look really different.
14.I say I hate kids but sometimes i dont, well most times i dont.
15.I punthure my teddy bears stomach when im pissed.